Children don’t come with a parent’s manual
Firstly, let me say, children don’t come with a parent’s manual. Parenting is all by trial and error. Lots of studies have been done in to child behavior and parenting styles. There are a whole host of issues that influence a child’s behavior and I am interested in children with trust issues, disruptive behavior, social anxiety, depression and self-harm.
Covid lockdowns have caused many changes in children behavior. The concept of children can make decisions for themselves is foolish. They look to their caregivers for guidance and rules. The bottom line to balanced child behavior and good parenting is to be firm but fair. The line must stay the same and the reward or consequence must never change no matter how tired you are. Balanced children is the goal of any parent. You want your children to be curious and interested in lots of different things. That doesn’t mean try something and at the first hurdle give up and try something new. That only teaches them to quit. Children need to get into trouble from time to time. I don’t mean break the law and be a delinquent but break your rules from time to time. To be a bit chaotic and troublesome is how they learn to fit into society.
Those that don’t break rules and are very good run the risk of becoming introvert, depressed and isolated. Those that break every rule are often misplaced in society and become delinquents. It is our job as parents to teach our children to become civilized and to fit into society, to know the unwritten laws and how to behave in society. Children need to learn a sense of fulfillment. It is also our job to ensure our children do better then we did with their lives. As parents there is no need to compete with our children but to encourage them to experiment and evolve. If this becomes an issue and children exhibit destructive behavior, I use a method of therapy using clay to help them understand what is going on in their minds and what behavior is better suited to them.
Behavior indicators:
- Excessive anger, worry, sadness or fear
Aggressive behavior (hurting others or self) - Separation anxiety
Excessive shyness - Behavioral regression
- Low self esteem
- Learning or other school problems
- Sleep, eating or elimination problems
- Preoccupation with sexual behavior
- Difficulty adjusting to family changes
- Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches that have no medical cause
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