Divorce recovery and renewal.

So many reasons that divorce happens.  Betrayal, Lack of intentions or plans, out grown each other, not in love any more, expectations not being met, Not engaged or commited. Bad sexual relationship, feeling ignored  or disrespected, arguing all the time, unreliable, selfishness and so on. 

You are not defined by your divorde nor are you defined by the stories being told about you. 

Divorce is perhaps the second worst thing that can happen to you. It can also be the best thing to happen to you.

First the bad news. The stats show that the divorce rate is increasing. A majority of people will go on to having one unsuccessful relationship after another.  Mixed emotions that seem to dominate your thinking and decision-making skills keep you from healing. In the majority of divorces the destructive emotions will lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and if not dealt with will definitely limit your ability to find a relationship that works and is loving and nurturing. Getting divorced is never an easy task. The trauma of divorce always leaves behind in its destructive wake lots of side effects. Are you suffering from Loss of a companion, a heart break, betrayal, denial, shock, complete change of life style, constant conflict, guilt, anxiety about the future, don’t know who you are any more, loss of self-confidence, or just feel you are worthless and have no value?

The good news…

What ever it is you are going through and no matter how rough it gets you don’t have to go through this alone. Over the years I have helped many people fast track their recovery after they moved away from a toxic relationship to a better, more stable and happy future. Whilst everyone has their own unique story and experiences. CBT ( cognative behavioural therapy)  is based on understanding the logic behind what is happening and how to redirect your thoughts and emotions to give you a clear view on how to move forward to a brighter, healthier and happier future. There is a solution for even the busiest person. Book a call with me and let’s chat about your situation.

Recovering from divorce is a journey. The change can be very difficult.

  • You need to be sober to start recovery. Your body has old built-in habits that will try and stop you from recovery. We will need to figure those habits out and change them.
  • Discipline is required and learning from relapses important. The trick is not to relapse.
  • It may be necessary to change people in your environment. Make new friends.
  • Stop the behavior that limits you or behavior that is just to survive.
  • Thinking and emotions need to be done in a positive way. Look for perfection in everything.
  • Accept that recovery is not an over night thing. It takes time.
  • Seek out nurturing people for support but do not be co-dependent on them for emotional support.
  • Create boundaries of acceptable things and unacceptable things and stick to them.
  • Help your children recover by being constant, upbeat, fair and firm.
  • Do not engage in sexual relationships just because you miss it or feel lonely. These relationships are destructive and will only wear down your self-confidence.
  • Don’t be a people pleaser, please yourself first.
  • Create small successes at first to rebuild your core confidence.