After years of practice and research we know that most on going life issues that seem unsolvable or difficult to solve in relationships can be attributed to the way we behave. Behavior is not only our physical actions but the way we feel and think. You will hear a lot these days about accountability and responsibility for your actions. This is not entirely true. All relationships need two or more people.
Let’s keep our conversation to two people. Its easier to explain. Either you act or react. To be accountable or responsible needs you to be aware of everything you say and do. Now here the statement is accurate but often you are not aware of the response you will get nor is your act or response well thought out. We use our experience, visual assessment of the situation, our understanding of the situation and inherent beliefs. What happened in the past is who we are today. All we do is behave. Sometime behavior has produced desired results and we repeat this, other times it doesn’t produce the desired result and yet we repeat this behavior. It takes two to communicate and how we behave during this communication comes down to one thing. CHOICE. We in fact choose our behavior based on five basic human needs before the rest of our needs come into play. We believe once you understand the logic behind what you are doing, feeling and thinking you will find the correct solution to almost all your relationship problems and issues in life and work.
We are trained to accept a system of external pressure to get what we want or this pressure is applied to us to get what they want. It is based on a very destructive system of pressure. Unfortunately, this destructive form of psychology is punishing to say the least. When this form of communicative psychology is used in any relationship it forms the basis for a huge break down in any form of satisfaction or pleasure and will result in people becoming disconnected in the relationship. Both parties feel rejected and the cycle of destruction begins. The biggest cause of relationship break ups or divorce is this disconnection leading to selfishness.
Here are some examples of the destructive psychology used:
- Constantly complaining
- Rewards based on results for control
- Criticizing our partner or others
If we can consciously change this behavior, we can change the outcome.
Our psychologist uses mainstream, recognized methods used in therapy around the world. The difference is, on the retreats we concentrate time and intensify the therapy into a system where you are focused on the issues and gain maximum absorption in preference to weekly or bimonthly sessions. These 12 to 16 hours of therapy bring the same and often better results then 12 months of therapy. Understanding your issue and your behavior means you can change the way you think, feel and behave.