Divorce

So many reasons that divorce happens. Truthfully there is really only one reason and that is someone becomes very selfish. Divorce hits you like the titanic hit the iceberg. Life gets turned upside down and inside out. There is a silver lining though and its just a matter of finding the silver lining.

First the bad news. The stats show that the divorce rate is increasing. A majority of people will go on to having one unsuccessful relationship after another. People try and replace people with habits they are familiar with and look for this in their new partner or worse, try and recreate this by making comparisons from the EX to the new person. Mixed emotions that seem to dominate your thinking and decision-making skills keep you from healing. In the majority of divorces the destructive emotions will lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and if not dealt with will definitely limit your ability to find a relationship that works and is loving and nurturing.

The good news…

Getting divorced is never an easy task. The trauma of divorce always leaves behind in its destructive wake lots of side effects. Are you suffering from Loss of a companion, a heart break, betrayal, denial, shock, complete change of life style, constant conflict, guilt, anxiety about the future, don’t know who you are any more, loss of self-confidence, or just feel you are worthless and have no value?

What ever it is you are going through and no matter how rough it gets you don’t have to go through this alone. Over the years I have help many people fast track their recovery after they moved away from a toxic relationship to a better, more stable and happy future. I call this process the fast-track method. Whilst everyone has their own unique story and experiences the fast-track method is based on understanding the logic behind what is happening and how to redirect your thoughts and emotions to give you a clear view on how to move forward to a brighter, healthier and happier future. There is a solution for even the busiest person. Book a call with me and let’s chat about your situation.

Recovering from divorce is a journey. The change can be very difficult.

• You need to be sober to start recovery. Your body has old built-in habits that will try and stop you from recovery. We will need to figure those habits out and change them.
• Discipline is required and learning from relapses important. The trick is not to relapse.
• It may be necessary to change people in your environment. Make new friends.
• Stop the behavior that limits you or behavior that is just to survive.
• Thinking and emotions need to be done in a positive way. Look for perfection in everything.
• Accept that recovery is not an over night thing. It takes time.
• Seek out nurturing people for support but do not be co-dependent on them for emotional support.
• Create boundaries of acceptable things and unacceptable things and stick to them.
• Help your children recover by being constant, upbeat, fair and firm.
• Do not engage in sexual relationships just because you miss it or feel lonely. These relationships are destructive and will only wear down your self-confidence.
• With me as your coach or therapist, lets examine every part of your life and determine what needs to change. Examine your values and beliefs. Get what you need to make the change and do the things that will work for you. Don’t be a people pleaser, please yourself first.
• Create small successes at first to rebuild your core confidence.